1:1 Preparation Skill

A framework for preparing and running effective 1:1 meetings that build trust, support growth, and surface issues early.

Why 1:1s Matter

1:1s are the most important meeting a manager has. They are:

• Their meeting, not yours — The direct report sets the agenda
• About them, not status — Save project updates for standups
• Relationship-building time — Trust compounds over time
• Early warning system — Problems surface here first

1:1 Principles

1. Consistency Over Intensity

• Weekly or biweekly, same time, never cancel
• 30 minutes minimum, 45-60 ideal
• Rescheduling is okay; canceling erodes trust

2. They Own the Agenda

• Ask them to bring topics
• Your items come second
• If they have nothing, dig deeper (that's a signal)

3. Listen More Than Talk

• Aim for 70/30 ratio (them/you)
• Ask follow-up questions
• Silence is okay—let them think

4. Document and Follow Through

• Take notes (or have them take notes)
• Track action items
• Start next 1:1 with previous action items

1:1 Types & Templates

Type 1: Regular Check-in (Weekly/Biweekly)

Purpose: Maintain connection, surface small issues before they grow

Template:

## 1:1 with [Name] — [Date]

### Their Topics (5-15 min)
- [Let them lead]

### How are you doing? (5 min)
- Energy level / workload
- Blockers or frustrations
- Anything I should know?

### Work Check-in (5-10 min)
- What's going well?
- What's challenging?
- Do you have what you need?

### Growth/Development (5 min)
- Any learning opportunities this week?
- Skills you want to develop?

### My Topics (5 min)
- [Your items — keep brief]

### Action Items
- [ ] ...

Type 2: Career Conversation (Monthly/Quarterly)

Purpose: Discuss long-term growth, aspirations, development

Template:

## Career Conversation with [Name] — [Date]

### Reflection
- What's energized you most in the last quarter?
- What's drained you?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of?

### Current Role
- What parts of your job do you love?
- What would you change if you could?
- Are you learning and growing?

### Future Direction
- Where do you see yourself in 1-2 years?
- What skills do you want to develop?
- What experiences do you want to have?

### Support Needed
- How can I help you get there?
- What opportunities should I look for?
- What's in your way?

### Action Items
- [ ] ...

Type 3: Performance Concern

Purpose: Address issues early, create clarity on expectations

Template:

## 1:1 with [Name] — [Date] — Performance Discussion

### Opening (be direct)
"I want to talk about something important. I care about your 
success here, which is why I'm raising this directly."

### The Issue (SBI format)
- Situation: [When/where]
- Behavior: [What specifically happened]
- Impact: [The effect on team/work/customers]

### Their Perspective
- "What's your view on this?"
- "What's getting in the way?"
- "Is there context I'm missing?"

### Expectations Going Forward
- [Specific, measurable changes needed]
- [Timeline for improvement]
- [Support you'll provide]

### Check Understanding
- "Can you summarize what we agreed?"
- "What questions do you have?"

### Action Items
- [ ] [Specific behavior change]
- [ ] [Follow-up date]
- [ ] [Support/resources to provide]

Type 4: New Team Member (First 90 Days)

Purpose: Accelerate onboarding, build relationship, identify gaps

Week 1-2 Focus:

- How are you settling in?
- What's confusing or unclear?
- Do you have everything you need (access, equipment, etc.)?
- Who have you met? Who should you meet?
- What questions do you have about the team/company?

Week 3-4 Focus:

- What's surprised you (good or bad)?
- What's different from your previous role?
- Where do you see quick wins?
- What processes seem inefficient?
- How's the pace—too fast, too slow?

Month 2-3 Focus:

- Where do you feel confident?
- Where do you still feel uncertain?
- What training or support do you need?
- How's your relationship with the team?
- What would make you more effective?

Type 5: Returning from Leave / Difficult Period

Purpose: Reintegrate thoughtfully, show care

Template:

- Welcome back. How are you really doing?
- What do you need from me right now?
- What pace feels right for ramping back up?
- What should I know but not share with others?
- How can I protect your time/energy?
- What's the best way to check in on how you're doing?

Question Bank by Situation

When They Seem Disengaged

• "You've seemed quieter lately. What's on your mind?"
• "On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about your work right now?"
• "What would need to change for this to be a 10?"
• "Are you getting to do what you do best every day?"
• "Is there something outside of work affecting you?"

When They're Frustrated

• "Tell me more about that frustration."
• "What's the root cause?"
• "What have you tried so far?"
• "What would need to change?"
• "How can I help—do you want me to fix it, or just listen?"

When They Want Promotion

• "What does that next level look like to you?"
• "What gaps do you see between where you are and where you want to be?"
• "What evidence would show you're ready?"
• "What can you start doing now at that level?"
• "How can I help you get there?"

When They're Overloaded

• "Walk me through everything on your plate right now."
• "What would you take off if you could?"
• "What's urgent vs. important?"
• "What can I take off your plate or delegate elsewhere?"
• "Are you comfortable pushing back when asked to do more?"

When There's Team Conflict

• "Help me understand what's happening with [person]."
• "What's your role in this dynamic?"
• "What have you tried to resolve it?"
• "What outcome would you like to see?"
• "Would it help if I facilitated a conversation?"

When They're a Top Performer

• "What's keeping you here?"
• "What might make you leave?"
• "Are you being challenged enough?"
• "What's the most interesting problem you'd want to work on?"
• "How can I help you have more impact?"

When They're Quiet / Give One-Word Answers

• "If you had a magic wand, what would you change?"
• "What's the one thing you wish I understood better?"
• "What feedback do you have for me?"
• "What's something you've wanted to say but haven't?"
• [Try walking 1:1s or informal coffee chats]

Questions to Ask Every 1:1

Pick 1-2 from this list to keep conversation flowing:

Opening

• "What's top of mind for you?"
• "What would make this a great week?"
• "What's one thing you're excited about?"

Middle

• "What's your biggest challenge right now?"
• "What do you need from me?"
• "Is there anything blocking you?"

Closing

• "Is there anything we didn't cover?"
• "What's one thing I can do to support you this week?"
• "Anything else on your mind?"

Manager Self-Check

Before each 1:1, ask yourself:

Getting Feedback on Yourself

Ask regularly (not every 1:1, but quarterly):

• "What's one thing I could do differently to support you better?"
• "What am I not seeing that I should be aware of?"
• "If you were in my shoes, what would you do differently?"
• "What should I start doing, stop doing, or keep doing?"
• "On a scale of 1-10, how well am I supporting you? What would make it higher?"

Red Flags to Watch For

1:1 Anti-Patterns to Avoid

❌ Status meeting — "Give me an update on your projects" ❌ Your meeting — You talk the whole time ❌ Skipping regularly — "We'll catch up next week" ❌ No notes — Forgetting what you discussed ❌ No follow-through — Not doing what you said you'd do ❌ Only when there's a problem — Makes 1:1s feel like trouble ❌ Multitasking — Checking Slack/email during meeting ❌ Rushing — Ending early when they clearly have more

Running the 1:1

First 2 Minutes

• Warm up: "How are you? How was your weekend?"
• Transition: "What would you like to talk about today?"

Their Agenda (First Half)

• Listen actively
• Ask follow-up questions
• Take notes
• Don't jump to solutions immediately

Your Items (Second Half)

• Keep brief
• Most important items only
• Leave time for their reactions

Last 5 Minutes

• Summarize key points
• Confirm action items (who does what by when)
• "Anything else before we wrap?"

After the 1:1

1. Document — Update your notes within 24 hours
2. Act — Do your action items promptly
3. Follow up — If something urgent came up, check in before next 1:1
4. Reflect — Did you learn something? Adjust?

Remember: The best 1:1s feel like conversations, not meetings.